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Words for Women: I Am Woman, Hear Me Cry by Cynthia Ruchti

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I was his only hope.

My husband had to remove the chimney liner from our 100-year-old two-story farmhouse with a creepy attic. And he couldn’t do it alone. He needed someone to climb up through the attic, that’s right, and up the hayloft-like Little House on the Prairie ladder with rungs spread way too far apart for the flexibility that remains in my hips, then through the two foot square hole onto the teeny, tiny, miniscule really flat part of our roof a million feet in the air. No. Way.

But I was his only hope. It didn’t matter that I’m not crazy about heights. No one else was available to help with the project. It had to be done.

In many ways, I’m a strong woman. I birthed three babies with no anesthesia of any kind. Labor and delivery for my third child didn’t even mess up my eye makeup. I shoo snakes with the best of them, deal with my own spiders, and bait my own hook when we’re fishing. I don’t have to like it, but I manage to extricate dead mice from our mice-magnet “charming” century-old home.

But come on. On top of the roof in a space that was barely big enough for the brick chimney and a lightning rod? Buy on AmazonLightning rod. Great. Another concern.

I almost lost my husband that day. He laughed—just once—when he saw me start to cry. Apparently the dagger-look I shot at him served as an excellent silencer.

I hugged the chimney, tears falling into the soot, and prayed like a man on death row with a pardon in the warden’s hands and the warden stuck in traffic on the freeway.

“Hand me that wrench, will you, hon?” he asked.

He expected me to hand him something? That would mean letting go of the chimney. And I’d probably have to open my eyes.

But I was his only hope.

He encouraged me to look at how beautiful the scenery was from up there. Yeah. Not gonna happen. “Could we just get this over with?” Sniff. Sniff. Drip. Drip.

I won’t even pretend I wasn’t afraid. Some women would have climbed to that spot without a second thought. But a thousand dangers screamed in my ear and made me utterly miserable through the whole project.

However…

And here’s where it gets good.

I made it. That experience was one I was convinced I couldn’t possibly live through. But I did. I have no scars. No bruises. No therapy sessions chalked up to that day hugging a chimney a million feet off the ground. I made it. I was miserable while it was happening. And then it was over.

When the Morning Glory Blooms-finalcoverThe intensity of the things that frighten us, that make the tears flow, that rattle us on the inside until we’re sure we can’t survive are almost always temporary.

You may have your own story of an utterly miserable time—as short as a few hours or as long as a season—that is now part of your history rather than your present.

Or, you may be neck-deep in something so soul-shaking that you have no more tears left in you to cry.

Look how much you’ve survived already. Think about how much you’ve lived through that you were certain would do you in. God’s arm is not too short, the Bible tells us. His endurance is never depleted, we’re assured. You will live to tell the story, by His grace.

A verse from Psalm 43 (also found in Psalm 42) would have been a great reflection for me while I clung to that sorry chimney. It may be your holding-on place now.

“Hope in God! Because I will again give him thanks, my saving presence and my God,” Psalm 43:5b Common English Bible.

Please share the story of a knee-rattling time that’s now a memory, a time when the tears fell or fear consumed, but you survived. It will build our faith to hear you tell it.

 

About Ragged Hope

Where do you find hope when it’s clouded by the ashes of other people’s choices? Where is God when you’re doing everything right but, because of someone else, everything is wrong? Ragged Hope is an insightful and hope-giving guide to assure you that God is every present and his love is unwavering. Vetted by professional counselors and caregivers, this is one collection of stories that will help you thrive no matter what situation or fallout you face.

 

About Cynthia

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://www.carlalaureano.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Cynthia-Ruchti_green_couch.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Cynthia Ruchti tells stories of Hope-that-glows-in-the-dark through books and speaking events based on 33 years of experience in Christian broadcasting. When the Morning Glory Blooms, a novel about three eras of women facing the aftermath of unplanned pregnancy, and Ragged Hope: Surviving the Fallout of Other People’s Choices—are detailed on her website: www.cynthiaruchti.com or www.hopethatglowsinthedark.com.[/author_info] [/author]

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Marketing Monday: Essential Elements of An Author Site (Author Sites, Part 4)

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EssentialElementsAuthorSiteSo far we’ve discussed the steps you need to get your site started, from the purpose of the site to selecting web hosting. Now we’re down to the meat-and-potatoes of the job: what should your site include?

I’m not going to talk about design. Chances are, you have an idea of what you want your site to look like, or you’ve already decided you’ll have a professional design it/customize a WordPress theme for you. However, the content of your site is completely up to you.

In Part One, we discussed that an author site should do the following things:

1)      Give the reader a feel for who you are, not just as an author, but a person.

2)      Allow the reader to take something away besides a sales pitch.

3)      Act as a jumping off point for all your marketing.

Let’s take this step by step and talk about the items that you can include to accomplish each of these goals:

Inject Your Personality

The design of your site should reflect your personality, the tone of your books, and your writing style. Rom-com writers might have a more whimsical, feminine design. Mystery writers might have a sleeker, darker look. My writing style is clean and straight-forward, and my personal style is contemporary and un-frilly. My website design communicates that. And fortunately, so does my book cover!

Tone/Audience

Finding the right tone for your site can be tricky, and much of it will depend on the tone and genre of your writing. If you write chick lit or humorous romance, you’ll probably want a chattier tone and lighter topics. If you write serious, issue-drive contemporary, maybe your material will be more heartfelt or include information on topics relevant to those issues.

I’ve tried to strike a balance with my site. Because I have a marketing background, I write this Monday column specifically aimed towards writers. Wednesdays are geared towards female readers, and they strike a more personal note, often on topics that are particularly meaningful to me right now. Fridays are reserved for general fiction-related topics, from book reviews and recommendations to guest posts by other authors. Those too are meant for readers rather than writers.

The number one mistake writers make with their author sites are gearing all their blog posts towards writers. While we often relate best to other writers (and spend much of our online social media time interacting with them) they’re not going to be your main audience. So while it’s fine to provide information related to writing, only a small portion of your site should be devoted to that topic.

Provide More Than A Sales Pitch

It’s fine to put information about your book on your site… and let’s face it, that’s the reason why you have the site. But a sales pitch should be ancillary, not the main purpose of every page. I’m a firm believer in making it easy for people to find your book and buy it… but letting them make that choice.

So that begs the question: what should your site include?

Informational Pages

These would be the core, static pages of your site. These should include your bio, information pages about your books, and contact information. These pages will not change very often, unless you add new material to your bio or new books to your catalog. These are a great place to inject your own personality and give readers a taste of your writing style. I personally have two bios on my page: one official one and one longer, non-official “unboring” one. One of my favorite examples of a personality laden bio is Libba Bray‘s, and incidentally, the writer from whom I stole the idea of the two bio format. I’ll warn sensitive readers that hers includes some language and a rather, ahem, irreverent take on religion. However, by the time you’ve finished reading it, you’ll know without a doubt whether you want to read her books or not. And that is what an effective informational page does for you.

Extra/Additional Materials

Perhaps you have additional information for your books (maps, character lists, study questions) you’d like to provide your readers. Or perhaps you’ve created pages that detail the setting or the inspiration of your book. Just like it’s become standard for DVDs to provide Extended Features, it’s always nice to give readers a way to stay in your story a bit longer and as a bridge to the next book in your series, if applicable.

Blog

This is where you have the opportunity to create fresh material to engage readers (and search engines!) Google, for example, gives better rankings to sites whose material is updated regularly. The important part of this equation is that the blog must be relevant. It’s fine to have your daily blog detailing the funny bits of your life, but unless that somehow ties into the genre, tone, or readership of your books (for example, chick lit or rom-com), it probably doesn’t belong on your author site. Not everyone needs to blog, but if you can commit to being consistent, it provides another avenue to interact with readers.

Act as Author Central

If you’re using WordPress, the good news is that you have a lot of options for integrating all your other “satellite” sites. Plug-ins can provide links to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads, etc. in your sidebars. Widgets can serve your latest tweets or Facebook posts. Utilize your book pages as a way to bring together all the different media you use to publicize your work, whether it’s music playlists, Pinterest boards, an online scrapbook, or travel blog.

If you haven’t expanded beyond Facebook and your author site, now is a great time to jump into the water of other social media… and tie it back to your newly designed site.

Remember, unlike all the other sites that might bring readers to your page, this is your home on the web, the place where you’ve staked your claim. Make it unique, make it fresh, and make it reflect who you are, and visitors will return again and again.

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Fictional Friday: Kiss and Tell (Beth and Carla Talk Writing Romantic Moments, Part Two)

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RomanceonCreteHey everyone! Last week, my coffee-talk with Beth K. Vogt on writing kisses was so much fun, we’re back for part two! In case you missed it, Beth is one of my favorite people in the world and the acclaimed author of two contemporary romance novels, Wish You Were Here and Catch A Falling Star, both available from Howard Books.

Carla: Welcome back, Beth! Last week, we left off last week talking about how kisses can reveal character development, and each kiss is really dictated by the characters involved. What’s one thing you try to avoid in writing romantic scenes in your own work?

Beth: One thing I don’t want to do is write the same kiss over and over—you know, retread the romance by using the same setup or even the same phrases. Do you ever worry about that, Carla? And how do you ensure that each kiss is distinctively swoon-worthy?

Carla: I think staying true to the characters makes each kiss different. In general, I try to avoid the same set-ups (or really, the same types of scenes!) from book to book so it doesn’t begin to feel formulaic. But there are definitely times I feel like I need to keep a spreadsheet of what words and phrases I’ve used in past scenes! Even for romantic moments, writers tend to have their pet ways of describing actions or emotions.

Speaking of “pet” things … as a reader, what is your pet peeve about kisses? What one thing do you try to avoid at all costs?

Beth: Graphic – and inappropriate – details! It’s a kiss, not an anatomy lesson. Kisses are a delicately balanced blend of emotional and physical responses. And while I want to develop romantic tension, I refuse to write a scene that mixes-and-matches a physical exam and a wrestling match.

I’ve discussed the do’s and don’ts of writing romance with lots of writers – and there’s always the question of where to draw the “line.” Let’s chat about lines, Carla. Have you drawn one?

Carla: Ooh, so are we going to talk about sex now? Because really, that’s the big line, and one of the reasons I gravitated towards inspirational fiction. I won’t write detailed depictions of anything more than a kiss, and like you, I avoid the body parts.

In terms of what I’ll let the characters do… that just depends on the story arc and themes. Characters, just like people, are not perfect. Sometimes they get carried away. If grace and forgiveness relating to sexual sin is part of that theme, I’m not opposed to letting them make mistakes. I don’t want to shy away from authenticity in that area purely because it’s a sensitive topic. But I’m not going to glorify it either, or worse, write sex into the story to titillate. Married couples are another question entirely, but just like I wouldn’t peek into my neighbor’s bedroom window, I don’t think readers need to see what goes on behind closed doors.

Beth: Married couples … that’s where I invoke the “let the marriage bed be undefiled” rule. If it’s true in real life, let it be true in the novels I write.

Carla: Obviously, I agree with you there. I let the story dictate where those lines are drawn, and if I’m afraid I might be getting into a questionable area, I pray over it. What about you? Do you ever worry about taking things too far? Where and how do you draw your own lines?

Beth: I’ve drawn a number of lines, both broad ones and specific. But it comes down to this: I will never make every reader or reviewer happy. So I must stay true to my values and know that I will stand before the God I love for every word I speak and write.

All right, Carla, I’m turning this Q&A around a bit. What’s your favorite movie kiss? Or novel kiss? Or do you have a memorable real life romantic moment you’d like to share?

Carla: That’s so tricky! I’m going to keep my personal romantic moments to myself, but as far ones in a novel… I’d have to go with Gone With the Wind. Rhett Butler quite literally sweeps Scarlett off her feet. (Talk about unwilling participants in a romance!) It also has my favorite line about kissing in any book:

“No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”

As far as movie kisses… this will surprise you. My favorite has to be the single kiss from the wonderful and touching Scottish film Dear Frankie. The fact it involves Gerard Butler helps, but really, I love it because it’s such an achingly tender and bittersweet moment. The storyline involves a woman who has written fake letters to her son from his absentee father, whom she’s claimed is a merchant marine. When the ship in question comes into port, she hires a stranger to pretend to be her son’s father. What could have devolved into melodrama is really a beautiful, subtly-acted movie.  This kiss really sums up the heartfelt but restrained tone of the film. So wonderful!

Your turn, Beth! What are your favorite book/movie kisses?

Beth: I’ll start with a favorite movie kiss from The Lake House, starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. I can’t explain the whole fantastical time-line of this romance, but Alex and Kate “meet” across time, and the first kiss doesn’t happen until the end of the movie. They finally get to see each other – after a lot of obstacles. Kate says, “You waited” – and then Alex kisses her with all the emotion of “at last!”

Love. That. Scene.

Favorite literary kiss? I keep coming back to a scene in These is My Words. It’s a wedding night scene, handled so beautifully by the author, Nancy Turner. Before Jack, the hero, kisses Sarah’s lips, he kisses a scar over her heart, telling her that he hopes to heal the hurt inside. It is such a tender moment – and reminds me of what best-selling authors Susan May Warren and Rachel Hauck teach us at My Book Therapy: God heals the Lie and the hero heals the Wound.

Carla: I love that! What a perfect way to sum up what we write in inspirational romance. When it comes down to it, what all these kisses have in common is that one element: hope. Hope that things might be different this time, hope that the characters have finally found that one person who understands them better than anyone. And who can’t relate to that?

Thanks so much for joining me today, Beth! I’m sure my readers loved this as much as I did! Stop by any time… the teapot’s always on! Now I have a question for all of you:

What’s your favorite literary or movie kiss?

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Words for Women: First You Must Ask

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SaxonDoorway_FuturillaI’m launching into a new phase of my blog. For the past several months, I’ve been writing most of my own posts, tweaking topics and formats. Now that we’re reaching the end of summer and rushing into conference season, I thought it was time to turn over the reins and share the soapbox with some of my favorite writers. Time to add more voices to the discussion.

The only problem was, I needed to ask them.

That may not seem like a big thing. I know a lot of people in this industry. Writers tend to clump together like birds on a wire. We understand the pressures and the joys involved in making the jump from aspiring to published writer. We also understand the huge amount of busyness that goes along with the job. Not just writing under deadline, but all of the daily promotion and marketing that takes up so much time.

Which is why I was a little hesitant to ask. Yes, I’d love to introduce some of my favorite writers to my blog readers. Yes, I’d love to share their points of view. And yes, I’d really love a break from blogging three days a week. But what if it was viewed as just another addition to their busy days? Worse yet, what if they feel obligated to say yes because of our personal relationship?

But I asked anyway, and to a person, they were all gracious and enthusiastic. Even flattered.

How often do we do this with God? We are told in Luke 7:7-11 (NIV):

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Clearly, there are limits, and the Bible talks about first delighting yourself in the Lord before He gives you the desires of your heart. But if my writer friends, who are human and oh-so-busy, would respond kindly to a request, why would not my Heavenly Father?

Sometimes we don’t ask for what we want and need—whether it is help with a problem, peace in a difficult situation, or a specific outcome. Asking doesn’t mean we’ll receive the answer we want, but we’re guaranteed not to receive a “yes” unless we ask.

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” ~ John 16:24 (NIV)

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